Free Advice
It’s worth what you pay for it, right? Yes and no. Conventional wisdom says yes, and there’s a wealth of idiom that has developed from this ‘wisdom’. Everyone has an opinion and will happily give you their ‘2 cents …for what it’s worth’. The ‘peanut gallery’ is, one gathers, packed with hecklers and malcontents who can’t even see what’s going on center stage, let alone in the back room.
There are various reasons for the common denigration of free advice. The most powerful is based on personal agendas. If you’ve ever hired lawyers, consultants, or other paid advisers, you’re probably well aware that the concept of getting what you pay for applies directly in this area, and perhaps you’ve also discovered that although the cheapest usually aren’t the best, sometimes the most expensive aren’t either.
Some conflict is likely to exist between any two people, but almost all of it is peripheral, and easy to identify and deal with. Serious conflict is usually very obvious and quite simple to identify swiftly and accurately.
More relevant to all of us, though, is our own lack of confidence in our observations and opinions outside of our own very specific area of expertise. The perverse thing about this is that a great deal of this lack of confidence stems less from our inability to observe and analyze than from our disinclination to really listen to the observations and analysis of others.
If you’re in any business where you’re dealing with people regularly then everyone you come in contact with can teach you something, even if they don’t realize it themselves. In other words, everyone around you is offering you good free advice all the time if you choose to hear it, if only through the way they respond to you, your presentation, your product.
What about the truly valuable advice? Who among us doesn’t recall a time when we were told something and ignored it, only to realize for ourselves (the hard way) that we should have paid attention? Why do we so often dismiss or turn down free advice or input?
I think it is, primarily, because we don’t understand how to contextualize it, and secondarily because we’re wary of trusting.
Let’s say that I’m a serial and successful restauranteur. Everyone’s been to restaurants, and few aren’t eager to throw a statement of personal preference my way. Much as I love my customers to be, I’m likely not going to let Tom pick his favorite music, or Dick his preferred crystal, or Harry the way he likes his bread presented.
But. I really do know my customers. I not only hear what they say, but also watch what they respond to enthusiastically and what they ignore.
But again. The reason I’m really successful is that I also know what they want that they don’t even know themselves. I know this by listening to what they say and don’t say as much as by watching them. My biggest successes, in a way, are built as much on free advice as they are on my own creativity and knowledge of the business side of things.
What if, however, I’m in a less customer interactive business? Now I’m only getting the very rare offer of direct input, and need to spend time using clumsy marketing tools to solicit input and observe behavior. I’ll probably hire lots of consultants.
The thing that the restauranteur example does, though, is make it easier to imagine how any businessperson can learn to contextualize and benefit from all input. Doing it in other businesses is far less common because we tend to only process input from our own pov and mindset. We have to develop and crystalize our own knowledge, ideas, and methods in order to accomplish anything. What we don’t have to do is close ourselves off from the wisdom of others, even when it comes from the ‘wrong’ perspective. Often a person giving you a piece of advice is seeing something that you aren’t. It may not be central to what you’re doing, but if you learn to look at what you’re doing from all sides, chances are you’ll do it a lot better.
Smart, successful business people who’ve decided they like you will commonly offer a single piece of advice. Most of us typically respond to this by dismissing it on the basis that they only have, say 20% or the picture of what we’re doing and therefore don’t fully ‘get’ it. This is often a mistake. If you’ve received that offer or single piece of advice from someone you’d consider a peer in at least some ways, stop and think about it. Even if it really isn’t on the nose or directly applicable, it can inform you in other ways. For example, even if it’s really out in left field then maybe you’ve painted a picture of left field unintentionally.
We pay big bucks to professionals to give us single purpose advice on narrow ranges of issues. The top pros make a point of trying to understand our big picture or at least pretend to. Not all expensive advice is bad, but not all is great either.
Free advice, on the other hand, is something we tend to value most when we’ve found it alone, by researching or reading or observing. In reality, the best free advice arrives through personal interaction, once we learn to hear what people say to us in the context of their knowledge and point of view. Doing so requires confidence in ourselves and a willingness to trust and share.
If you’re shy, or inexperienced at sharing and networking, then choose a community leader in your sphere who you like and admire and watch how they do it. You may not have the same temperament, nor become a community leader yourself, but you’re sure to see ways of communicating and connecting that you’d have never thought to try on your own.
There are times when free advice is the most valuable. One of the very things that makes us suspect it, the fact that it cost nothing to give, can also be what makes it a true gift.
